Manila jokes produce wry and full-fledged smiles

THE NUN IN HOOTERS

Now given that there are numerous Pink & some Green Men's urinals sprinkling the streets of Manila and even a few "test" Ladie's urinals, one could empathize with the plight of the nun, although she would need to be in the MOA area to be near a Hooters in Manila...I digress.

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"

"An Indian Nun, who had just withdrawn money from a bank, was seriously hurt after she was robbed and shot by a man on board a motorcycle Tuesday afternoon in Manila.

Theresa Thomas Folanchery, a member of the Sisters of Charity of St. Anne, remains under observation in the hospital, where she is being treated for a lone gunshot wound.

The victim, who had just withdrawn P95,000 from a Bank of the Philippine Island branch in Tejeron, was about to alight from a tricycle when the still unidentified suspect snatched her bag containing the money.

I wonder what that money was going towards & I would like to know if this event was in any fashion connected to the 5:6 operations, but perhaps that is the cynic in me?

This teacher joke kinda puts the foot in the mouth: Teacher: There was an enthusiastic Filipino kindergarten teacher here in Manila and "he" was teaching his class how to do the hokey-pokey - it's popular in Britain. He started off by singing "You put your right feet in, you put your right feet out, you put your right feet in...." Suddenly, one of the students chimed in, "But Teacher, you have to say 'foot.'" Without hesitation, the teacher continued with "You 'foot' your right feet in, you 'foot' your right feet out....."

A quick check of the CBS Late Show with David Letterman's Top Ten Archive shows no matches for either the Philippines or Filipino. This listing's origins may be in question but their poke at self-deprecating humor should strike most of as funny, if not too painful.

The Top Ten Reasons there won't be a Filipino or Filipino-American in the White House are:

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House.

8. Dignitaries are generally intimidated by eating with their fingers at State dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the Last Supper picture?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a giant wooden spoon and fork set.

5. Secret Service staff won’t respond to “pssst…pssst”.

4. Secret Service staff are uncomfortable driving the Presidential car with a Holy Rosary hanging on the rear view mirror or having the statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase karaoke machines for every White House room.

2. State dinners do not allow “Take Home.”

& the Number 1 reason why is ...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!

*************** God Bless this site's trip ;)***************

Baseball Humor

I received this via email in July, 2010. (Source unknown)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.The next morning while they are eating breakfast, The young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside."That laundry is not very clean", she said."She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, The young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and Cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others Depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

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